War of hearts Malec fanfic
by exxumbra
Summary: Alec and Magnus broke up in City of Lost Souls. But what happens when Alec sees Magnus kissing Camille? This is another CoLS fanfic. I love reviews! Please please please post them so I know if I should continue.
1. Chapter 1 War Of Hearts

Another night without any sleep. All Alec could think of was Magnus kissing Camille. He spent all that time convincing Alec that he had nothing going on with camille, that what they had is history, but what was it now? He kissed her and it hurt. Alec felt as if his heart is gong to break. He laid in his bed trying not to think about how screwed up his life was at the point, but there was no use. All his mind could focus on was Magnus and how much he loved him. He picked up his phone and sighed. There were eleven missed calls from Magnus, twenty seven messages. In each and every one of them Magnus tried to explain himself, but it didn't matter anymore. Magnus broke up with Alec because of Camille. Because what Alec did, going behind Magnus's back, was wrong. Magnus was the one who told him not to trust Camille. Not to trust her? He kissed her, for Angel's sake.

Rolling out of the bed, Alec walked towards the window. Skyline over NYC was always a beautiful sight, but at the moment that was the last thing Alec wanted to think of. Quickly, he dressed up in his grey sweater and black jeans. As he pulled his combat boots on, he noticed a purple scarf Magnus bought for him hanging on a chair across from the bed. He bit his lip hard. Alec grabbed the scarf and ran out of the room.

Soon enough he found himself in the park in front of Magnus's apartment. He just sat there staring. Nt sure if he should get up and finally talk to Magnus face to face, or if he shold just get up and leave. In that moment, he saw Magnus standing on the balcony. Alec felt his heart racing. As he turned to leave, there he was. Standing face to face with Magnus Bane.

„Oh Alec. As if I didn't know you were going to run away", Magnus said. He touched Alec's cheek softly, just like he used to do whenever he kissed him. But that seemed so far away now.

„Why are you here Magnus? Why did you come down?" Alec asked as he moved away from Magnus's touch. As much as he hated it, he couldn't show him how hurt he really was.

„Better question is, what were _you_ doing here? I called you so mny times. Texted you... I wanted to apologize for what happened, but you never answered any of my calls or messages."

„Magnus... You broke up wih me because I went behnd your back. Because of this stupid thing I did with Camille. And I begged you to forgive me. I begged you to take me back. You haven't answered any of my calls then, why now? Because you feel guilty? Bad? Like you lied to me?" Alec shook his head. All the anger and pain he felt inside finally reached surface and he felt tears streaming down his face.

„Alec I..." Magnus whispered as he made a step towards Alec. He took Alec's hand into his and pulled him closer. Now they were so close, Alec could feel Magnus's heartbeat on his skin. Their bodies were pinned togeher. Magnus rose his head and smiled. He brushed away Alec's tears and in that second pulled him in for a kiss. Alec did not struggle. He wanted this. He needed this. Feeling Magnus's body this close to his. Feeling his lips, his skin, his breath... It all made Alec feel as if he was finally alive again.

But Magnus pulled away. „I am sorry Alec" ,he said.

„Sorry for what?" Alec asked. He was not sure what magnus meant by saying he was sorry.

„I can't... We can't..." Magnus tried to explain himself, but there was no need. Alec knew exactly what he wanted to say.

„You just wanted to say that it wasn't your fault, right? Kissing Camille?" Alec looked down. „You just wanted one last kiss." Alec took a deep breath and closed his eyes.

„I am sorry, Alexander." Magnus said and in the time Alec opened his eyes, Magnus was nowhere to be seen. Another day, another heartbreak for Alexander Lightwood. What he didn't know was that Magnus Bane was experiencing exactly the same thing just across the street in his apartment. His love for Alec never faded. He loved him more than anything.

Magnus felt as if he has to fight himself. Every morning and every evening. All he wanted was to call Alec. To tell him how sorry he is and that he lvoes him. He wanted to hold Alec until they both fall asleep in eachother's arms. But he knew that by doing it, he would hurt Alec once again.

Right now there were two souls on the opposite sides of the street staring at each other's picture in the cellphone. Both heartbroken. Both lost.

„I love you", Alec whispered as he put his phone back to his pocket. Magnus's picture will forever be on his screen. His smile forever captured in a photo that would cause so many skipped beats of Alec's heart.

„I love you", Magnus whispered as he held a framed photo of hmself and Alec in Paris. They wanted to travel the world. Magnus wanted to show him everything. Teach him everything. But he lost him. And with that he lost himself.

Returning home, Alec saw Isabelle and Jace in the trainng room. He tried to pass by them un-noticed, but he failed. „You went to see him, didn't you?" Jace asked not even turning to face him.

Alec leaned on the door frame crossing his arms. „Yea."

„And? How did it go?" Isabelle asked with a smile, but as she noticed Alec's face, she was horrified. He looked as if he cried for days. His skn was white and his eyes were dark blue.

„I lost him Iz." Alec said and hugged his sister tightly. „I lost him forever this time."

„Don't worry Alec. He loves you. He will forgive you evetually", Isabelle said. „But you have to forgive him as well."

Alec nodded and turned to go back to his room. He was too tired to even think about anythng. All that he could think of was Magnus's face and his words. „ _I'm sorry._ "

Was it really the end? It can't end like this. No. He was not going to give up on Magnus.


	2. Chapter 2 Hurts Like Hell

„ **Alec you need to eat something**." Isabelle said as she opened the library door. He sat on an old dusty couch by the fireplace staring at what seemed to Isabelle an old journal. Making a few steps closer to her brother, she leaned over his shoulder to see what he was reading. „ **Isabelle. You startled me** ", he jumped up closing the book immediately. But too late. Isabelle already saw what it was. Alec spend all his time in library reading old family journals trying to find something, anything, that would give him any kind of insight into Magnus's history. Isabelle sat next to him. „ **Alec... You lost too much weight. You are pale. You haven't taken any missions in past two months. You need to live your life, brother. As hard as it may seem.** "

Alec stood up. He grabbed the journal, turning his back on Isabelle. Arms that were once tan and covered in muscles were now pale and skinny. Clothes that was always tight on his body was now baggy. His grip on the journal loosened before he turned back to his sister. Light from the fireplace lightened up the room and for the first time since she came in, Isabelle could see Alec's face clearly. Skinny. Pale. Purple bags under his yes. Alec looked like a ghost of what he used to be. All life and all happiness drained out of him. All that remained was an empty shell of the man Isabelle loved more than life itself. With the sight that was now before her, tears poured down her face. Sorrow took over her face and her heart before she turned her back on him and ran out of the room.

The moment she left, Alec fell back down on the couch. He threw the journal on the desk before walkng up the stairs to the area filled with old dusty books. He took few more journals before heading back towards the couch. Passing by the mirror he covered with a sheet, Alec sighed. He covered every mirror he could find. He couldn't stand to look at himself after what he have done to Magnus. After the betreyal he have done to the man he loved. Pulling on the edge of the sheet he pulled it off the mirror. The sight he had before him left him in shock. Books fell from his arms.

Touching his face with his hands, Alec could not believe what he had become. Seeing his hands, his boney fingers, the bags under his eyes, Alec fell down on the stairs. He covered his face with his hands. He would have cried, but there was no more tears left for him. Suddenly all he could feel was anger. He got up and punched the mirror shattering it in a million little pieces. Broken glass cut his fist, but he didn't care. Hearing someone come in, he rolled his eyes. **„WHAT NOW?!"** He yelled out, but regretted it moment later. He saw Jace staring at him with a look in his eyes that only one word could describe. Hopelessness.

„ **Alec please. I am begging you as my parabatai. My brother"** , he spoke as he walked toward Alec. But Alec shook his head. **„Can't you all just leave me here in peace?"** He asked quietly as he stared down at his hands. **„I just... I need to be alone, Jace."** Jace's eyes trailed Alec's body until he saw his hand. He took out his stele and approached Alec. **„Let me do iratze on you"** , he said but Alec pulled away. **„No. I don't want to heal. I want to feel pain."** He whispered as he looked up at Jace. His once bright blue eyes, now took on grayish color. As if all life was sucked out of them. **„Only pain reminds me I am still alive."**

Turning away, Alec looked at the stairs where he dropped the journals. He picked one of them up. **„I am trying to figure out why. Or what. I am not even sure myself."** He said looking back at Jace. **„But all I get is nothing!"** He yelled out and threw the journal into the fire. He crashed down on the couch, burrying his face in the palms of his hands. **„Please leave me alone. I need to be alone"** , he said. Jace slowly stepped away. Clearly there was nothing he could do anymore. Alec closed his eyes letting his mind drift away. Slowly he fell asleep.

 _The grass was green and the sky was blue. With not one cloud on it. Alec laid under a tree in the park. Opening his eyes, he saw a pair of beautiful cat eyes looking down at him and a smile so warm it could melt and ice bergs. Alec sat up._ _ **„Magnus"**_ _, Alec whispered. Tears started falling down his face. Feelings he thought he will never feel again, cam rushing back in. He threw himself into Magnus's arms._ _ **„Alexander"**_ _, Magnus whispered against Alec's hair as he embraced him._ _ **„Alec why did you betray me like this?"**_ _He asked. Alec stood frozen._ _ **„W-what?"**_ _He whispered as she moved back to face Magnus._

„ _ **Why did you betray me Alexander? I loved you and you betrayed me"**_ _, the man spoke. His face flled with sorrow. He stood up then._ _ **„Aku cinta kamu"**_ _, he whispered. Alec closed his eyes._ _ **„I love you too"**_ _, he said. Feeling of falling apart came back. Once he opened his eyes, Alec found himself back into the tunnels that once served as a meeting place with Camille. And there she was in her full 'glory'._

„ _ **What are you doing here bitch?"**_ _Alec hissed._ _ **„Haven't you done enough?!"**_ _She laughed._ _ **„Alexander Lightwood"**_ _, she spoke in a high pitch voice. Oh by the Angel. He hated that voice so much. He hated her. More than he could admit himself, he hated her. Not because of who she was, but what she made out of him. An insecure boy who was so desperate to know about his boyfriend's past that he went to the person who he hated the most._

„ _ **Not everything went according to plan, I see"**_ _, she spoke once again._ _ **„You see the bad side of betraying me now. You had one simple task, Lightwood. To bring me the head of Raphael Santiago. Now was that so hard to do?"**_ _Alec turned his back on her._ _ **„You are not even worthy of the time spent rolling my eyes at you, Camille. Only thing I do regret is not killing you when I had the chance. I was stupid enough to believe your lies and let you go."**_ _He said and shook his head._ _ **„But not anymore"**_ _, he reached for his weapon belt, but there was nothing. He was not armed. No seraph blade, bow and arrow, nothing. He was an open target._

 _Camille just simply laughed. She was by his side in a matter of seconds._ _ **„Now you will get what you truly deserve, Alexander Lightwood"**_ _, she said and bit into his neck. He closed his eyes. There was no will to fight. Not anymore. After she was done with him, she let his body wall to the ground. Opening his eyes, she saw the same cat eyes he loved more than his life, look down at him._ _ **„Get up Alec!"**_ _, he could his love's voice yelling at him._ _ **„Alec! Alec get up!"**_

Alec jumped up from his dream. He found himself once again on a couch next to the fireplace. He sat up and rubbed his eyes. He looked at the desk and bit his lip. Grabbing a cellphone, he dilled Magnus's number. It rang. And rang. And rang. **„This is Magnus Bane. Leave your message after the beep."** Alec's heartbeat fastened. Even his voicemail made hs heart race. Just... his voice. **„Magnus... it's Alec again. Magnus I am sorry"** , he spoke. **„I am truly sorry Magnus. Please just let me explain. Just let me talk to you I will do anyt-"** He was cut off. Is this the end? After everything they went throgh, is it really over? Have Magnus moved on? Alec stared at his phone before throwing it in the pile of dust that laid on the table. **„I am not going to give up Magnus. I... I can't just give up."** He whispered to himself as he burried his face in his hands. A painful moan escaped his lips. He was tired. Tired from life itself already, but he knew that he has to find the will to live. For his sister. For Jace and his parents. For his little angel Max. A smile formed on his lips as he noticed, in the pile of books that laid on the floor, scattered, laid Naruto manga with a sticker that said _**'Max's property'**_. His little brother. Playing with angels. Safe from all the harm. Alec felt his hard ache. **„I won't give up, Max. I promise you."** He spoke in half whisper, but loud enough for the person on the other side of the door to hear him. Leaned against the wall, sitting on the floor, Isabelle listened to her brother's fight with himself. Seeing him like this hurt her more than anyone else. Especially when she knew that on the other side of New York, one man was feeling the same pain. Wrapped in his loved one's sweater, surrounded by food containers and pictures of happy times. Tortured by his feelings. Drowning in a pool of tears. Listening to his voicemail over and over again, just to hear his beloved's voice. Hey were broken. They were shadows. They needed something. Eachother.


End file.
